“God urged me, spoke to me, about praying for you, you need someone standing on the sidelines praying that every day, your needs will be met. If you’re ready to join my prayer class, we pray with over thousands of people, and YOU are the only one that’s missing. I want you to press “0” so you can transfer your call to the prayer closet and so this way I can have your information so I can start praying for you nonstop. Press zero right now because I know that your miracle is right around the corner. Your struggle will be over. Press “0” now to be transferred to the prayer closet. To be removed from this call list please press “3” now.”
-VOICEMAIL LEFT ON MY PHONE EARLIER TODAY
BITCH YOU DONE A GREAT THING CALLIN’ A REPORTER WITH THAT SHIT. YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM ME IN THE MORNING.